I have to admit, these last few days in the truck have been really difficult. My body isn't recovering as quickly as I'd like and bouncing around is wreaking havoc on my insides. Before I came back to work, I weaned off the Percocet I was given for pain and started taking Alieve and ibuprofen instead. It hasn't been as effective, though I was sure I could make it through a few days. Boy was I wrong. I ended up needing my roommate to overnight my prescription to me because the pain became unbearable.
I started thinking about the great many times I've pushed myself through painful times in the past, both physical and emotional. How often I forced myself to endure because I'd been taught to believe 'giving up' was wrong. If I gave up, I wasn't giving God my best. Strange how I wasn't taught that abusing myself was wrong since my body 'is the temple of The Holy Spirit'. I wonder how many long term issues (physical and psychological) could have been avoided had someone considered teaching balance rather than all or nothing.
It's difficult for me to say 'I can't' to something if I know I have the ability. After all, while growing up it was disrespectful or lazy or selfish to say "no" to someone. Even now, I'll let myself be pulled in every direction rather than risk disappointing someone by not doing what was asked. Perhaps its time to start risking the disappointment of others and a little better care of me. Taking time to heal or rest isn't always being selfish... pushing through isn't always heroic. I think I might learn to like the word balance!
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